Oh, coffee - it’s part of your daily morning routine, your life force, and at times, your only motivation. There’s no denying your true, unconditional love for coffee when your barista knows your usual order, but not your name. Whether you enjoy a latte, a cappuccino, or simply black coffee, these funny coffee quotes and sayings will have you nodding your head and tempting you to reach for another cup. You’ll be perked up and inspired in no time.Dimitri Otis - Getty Images

Alphonse Allais

Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.Hearst Owned


Everyone should believe in something. I believe I will have another coffee.Betsy Farrell

Ronald Reagan

I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon.Betsy Farrell

Leanna Renee Hieber

Coffee first. Schemes later.Betsy Farrell


Humanity runs on coffee.Betsy Farrell

David Lynch

But even a bad cup of coffee is better than no coffee at all.Betsy Farrell

Henry Rollins

What goes best with a cup of coffee? Another cup.Betsy Farrell


The most dangerous drinking game is seeing how long I can go without coffee.Betsy Farrell


My birthstone is a coffee bean.Betsy Farrell

Laurell K. Hamilton

Caffeine and sugar, the two basic food groups.Betsy Farrell

Charles Maurice de Talleyrand

Black as the devil, hot as hell, pure as an angel, sweet as love.Betsy Farrell

Donna A. Favors

It’s amazing how the world begins to change through the eyes of a cup of coffee.Betsy Farrell


I want someone to look at me the way I look at coffee.Betsy Farrell


May your coffee kick in before reality does.Betsy Farrell

Cassandra Clare

As long as there was coffee in the world, how bad could things be?Betsy Farrell

Sir James MacKintosh

The powers of a man’s mind are directly proportional to the quantity of coffee he drinks.Betsy Farrell

Clark Gable

I never laugh until I’ve had my coffee.Betsy Farrell

J.S. Bach

Without my morning coffee, I’m just like a dried-up piece of goat.Betsy Farrell

Flash Rosenberg

I believe humans get a lot done, not because we’re smart, but because we have thumbs so we can make coffee.Betsy Farrell

Jerry Seinfeld

We want to do a lot of stuff; we’re not in great shape. We didn’t get a good night’s sleep. We’re a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.Betsy Farrell


Life without coffee is like something without something … sorry, I haven’t had any coffee yet.Betsy Farrell


Decaf coffee only works if you throw it at people.Betsy Farrell

David Letterman

Way too much coffee. But if it weren’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.Betsy Farrell

Louisa May Alcott

I'd rather take coffee than compliments just now.Betsy Farrell

Stephanie Piro

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee.Betsy Farrell


A bad day with coffee is better than a good day without it.Betsy Farrell

Jac Vanek

I like my coffee like I like myself: strong, sweet, and too hot for you.Betsy Farrell

Napoleon Bonaparte

I would rather suffer with coffee than be senseless.Betsy Farrell


To make me happy: Make me coffee, bring me coffee, be coffee …coffee.Betsy Farrell


Wanna hear a joke? Decaf.Betsy Farrell


If you are not coffee, chocolate or bacon, I’m going to need you to go away.Betsy Farrell


It’s strange how drinking cups of water seems impossible, but 8 cups of coffee go down like a chubby kid on a see-saw.Betsy Farrell


Love is in the air, and it smells like coffee.Betsy Farrell

Nanea Hoffman

Why, yes, I could start my day without coffee. But I like being able to remember things like how to say words and put on pants.Betsy Farrell

Cherise Sinclair

No matter what historians claimed, BC really stood for ‘Before Coffee.’Betsy Farrell


Sometimes I go hours without drinking coffee. It’s called sleeping.Betsy Farrell


May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short.Betsy Farrell

Rohan Marley

Coffee connects us in so many ways – to each other, to our senses, and to the earth that supports the coffee trees.Betsy Farrell

Dave Barry

It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity.Betsy Farrell

T.S. Eliot

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.Betsy Farrell