Well, good morning Baltimore: Tracy Turnblad's mom has still got some sweet moves! John Travolta, erstwhile star of that #Resistance classic Hairspray, is in Cannes for the premiere of his new film, Gotti, in which he plays the titular role.
50 Cent inexplicably performed at the after-party for the film, prompting to Travolta to take the stage, cut a rug, and remind us all that he is still possibly a dime piece.
Wearing a new slate-colored hairpiece from Vivica Silver Fox collection, the movie star shimmied and soft-shoed with wild abandon, like your dad's older brother who had two glasses of Chablis at your wedding and suddenly thought he'd transformed into Bruno Mars.
According to Mr. Cent's tweet, he and the star of the second-best Grease film are actually friends which prompts a lot of questions, among them: What? How? When? Who said that?
Let me find out they met in SoulCycle or something. Johns on a bike sweating to the beat when he turns around and spies 50 wearing a bandana and getting his entire life to a Carly Rae remix. They get in trouble for talking during class and then decide to get smoothies and gab about stocks or Elon Musk or aliens or whatever it is that celebrities discuss.
50 Cent and John Travolta being friends is 90% of the plot of that same "middle-aged buddies go on an adventure" movie that gets released with a new cast and a new title every year.
Sometimes even starring John Travolta:
It should come as no surprise that one face of the great Face/Off has still got some juice left in those hot hot heels. After all, he first burst on to the scene as the eternally sexy Tony in Saturday Night Fever:
Maybe it's the residual parchedness talking, but the man has charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent; why he hasn't been a guest judge on Drag Race yet is anyone's guess. We need to put our best people on this, stat.
Dear Hollywood, please give me the "middle-aged buddies go on a big adventure that turns out to be a dance battle" movie immediately. It can star 50 Cent, John Travolta, and Nicholas Cage. It can be called Dance/Off and I am already in line at the theater waiting for it.
Follow R. Eric Thomas on Twitter.