Sharks and Celebs, The Shocking Similarities You Need to Know

By AT&T Digital Media Productions editorial team

 

Bull shark:
Kanye West

[Trouble in paradise? Bull shark spotted at Pacific ocean hotspot alone]

I’m gonna let you finish, but Kanye is definitely a bull shark.

These aggressive sharks have the strongest bite, go after what they want, and don’t let anything get in their way. They’re known for their unpredictable nature, and their ability to swim between salt and fresh water with ease.

Sounds a lot like a certain multi-talented, headline-making artist. My Beautiful Shark Twisted Fantasy, anybody?

 

Mako Shark:
Usain Bolt

[Mako shark breaks world record for sprint: read how he did it here!]

The mako shark is the easily the fastest shark, with speed bursts of up to 45 mph. Usain Bolt clocks in at 27.8 mph, making him the fastest human on earth. And while Bolt never competed in the high jump, even an elite athlete like him would have trouble matching the mako, which can leap up to 30ft out of the water. They even both have winning smiles.

 

Lemon Shark:
Aziz Ansari

[Lemon shark sets off on epic vacation to try all the species of stingray]

The lemon shark is a social animal, generally swimming in groups based on size and gender. They are non-aggressive both towards each other, and towards humans -- making them one of the more popular sharks to dive with. Lemon sharks have a wide diet, including everything from rays and crustaceans to smaller sharks and seabirds.

Although Parks and Recreation star Aziz Ansari probably isn’t stalking stingrays by night, he is known for the lovable, yet sensitive characters he plays on screen. Additionally, he’s well-known as a gourmand--it’s a major plot point in his newest show, Master of None. Maybe he has tried stingray after all.

 

Nurse Shark:
Taylor Swift

[Nurse shark hosts yet another epic Fourth of July bash at her home in the Atlantic]

The nurse shark is known for being a docile, easy-going shark (unless of course, it’s provoked). It often swims in groups with other nurse sharks, and hangs out in warm, shallow water making it a popular aquarium attraction. Can you say ultimate squad goals? 

America’s favorite popstar has the best #girlsquad out there, sells out arenas with ease, and she’s been known to go to great lengths for her fans, even sending advice and inviting them to her home. Sounds pretty chill.

 

Tiger Shark:
LeBron James

[Tiger shark spotted out for the first time since Finals loss]

Smaller only than the great white and the whale shark, the tiger shark earns its stripes by being relentlessly vicious towards its prey. Unlike great whites, they’re likely to keep attacking after the initial bite.

While his team came up short this year, 3-time champ and 5-time MVP LeBron James is in contention for G.O.A.T. status, and after more than a decade in the NBA, LeBron is as viciously relentless as ever, punishing opponents with his proprietary combination of speed and power.

 

Oceanic Whitetip Shark:
Kim Kardashian

[Has oceanic whitetip gained weight since giving birth?]

The oceanic whitetip is easily identified by its large dorsal fin. The omnipresent Ms. Kardashian is also known for a larger-than average feature (her social media following—why, what were you thinking?). And while oceanic whitetips often camp out for hours waiting for their victims to show weakness or lose focus, when it comes to destroying her enemies, Kim K just keeps receipts.

In any case, this list couldn’t feature just one half of KimYe.

 

Thresher Shark:
Chrissy Teigen

[Thresher claps back at jellyfish in an epic tweet]

The thresher shark is clever, using its extremely long, whiplike tail to stun its prey. And nobody comes up with better clapbacks than Chrissy Teigen. The model, cookbook author, and Lip Sync Battle host is notorious for shutting down Twitter haters, giving her millions of followers their daily laugh.

 

Great white shark:
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

[Great white trains for his new role in tedious franchise film]

By far the most notorious shark, this massive sea predator weighs an average of one ton, with the heaviest weighing in at over 7,000 pounds! In a single year the great white will eat up to 11 tons of food, and can swim up to 35 miles an hour.

Now for everyone’s favorite wrestler-turned-actor: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson eats over 5,000 calories a day, which includes putting away over 2 pounds of cod alone! The aptly named Rock weighs in at 260 pounds, most of it pure muscle, making him the human equivalent of the ocean’s totally jacked apex predator.

They also both love to flash their toothy grins, and if great whites had eyebrows, they could probably raise them one at a time.

 

Tune into Shark Week where the sharks are the real celebs, only on Discovery.

 

Sources: Business Insider